Friday, December 25, 2015

Episode 232: Murray Christmas

Episode 232: Murray Christmas
It's time once again to gather around the fire, sip a hot toddy and listen to a bunch of jackasses play Christmas music. Murray Christmas everybody!!
From December 24, 2015

With your hosts:

Pat Francis

Murray Valeriano

Mike Siegel

00:00:00 Pat, Murray, and Mike welcome us to the show. Murray Christmas everybody! Murray himself can't tell you how many times he heard that nickname as a kid. His other nickname? Bucky Beaver. He had huge buck teeth as a boy; that was until he broke them off on an old rotary telephone in his parent's bedroom. Then it was so long buck teeth and hello jaded comedian! Pat and Murray are sick and Mike is stuck in the middle. Kyle isn't here, he's with his lady friend. He'll be around for actual Christmas, though. A time where Kyle's grandparents will yell at each other endlessly, according to Pat. They're not hard of hearing, they just hate one another. "60 years of marriage, 10 years of wedded bliss," as Pat describes.
00:05:00 Murray's religious family always went to Christmas Eve service. Pat used to be an altar boy until senior year of high school. "Until you were old enough to talk," corrects Murray. No no, Pat's childhood priests were good. No shenanigans going on there. Speaking of Murray Christmas, Murray saw the Netflix Bill Murray special A Very Murray Christmas. It's not good. "Torturous," describes Murray. Last year was Merry Christymas and the boys wanted to make sure they didn't cross-pollinate songs from last year's yuletide extravaganza. Pat plugs Rock Solid live at San Francisco Sketchfest. Curiously, Mike and Murray's tickets got lost in the mail. The episode will be Pat, David Wild, Kyle, and special guest SAMMY HAGAR!!! It's a very special guest for Pat because, as he relates to Murray and Mike, he won a Sammy Hagar lip sync contest in college. You can hear the vaginas salivating from miles away.
Murray has an intro clip to get us into the Christmas spirit. It's "Santa Claus and His Old Lady" by Cheech and Chong.
00:10:00 Pat and Mike are not fans of Cheech and Chong. Yes, they smoke weed, we get it. Murray, meanwhile, was giggling up a storm. Pat's first pick is by his perennial favorites Cheap Trick. The song is "Christmas Christmas" off the charity EP Gift.
Murray hates the Eagles. He also hates when the Eagles do his favorite song. He plays "Please Come Home for Christmas" off the album The Very Best Of. It's a good version of the song, it's just sung by an asshole. Murray was watching Don Henley on Austin City Limits. He did a classic song, then a new song, then a classic song, then a new song. Murray decided to watch a song, fast-forward, watch a song, fast-forward.
"I like this version."
- Pat, referring to the Eagles covering "Please Come Home for Christmas"

"So do I, it's my favorite. I just hate them."
- Murray
00:15:00 Mike recently took a quick walk to see Nick Lowe perform. When he got there, the door guy just handed him a ticket. Ya see what dashing good looks will get you in life? It was a good concert. Mike plays his first pick, "Christmas at the Airport" by Lowe off his album Quality Street: A Seasonal Selection for All the Family.
00:20:00 The gang remembers the horrors of being snowed in someplace. Murray was snowed in for three days at Penn State, plus was snowed in for four days in his childhood home in Indiana. Mike was once snowed in at a Denver airport on the outskirts of town. Pat's car once needed a jump on Christmas in Chicago. A taxi cab came by and offered a jump... for 100 bucks. Six months later, Pat was driving around in the pouring rain and came across a family whose car had broken down. He gave them a jump. That's the kind of guy Pat Francis is; and he only asked for 50 bucks, the kindhearted soul.
Pretentiousness, thy name is Sting. "If anybody could take the fun out of Christmas..." grumbles Murray. Pat plays "Soul Cake" off of Sting's Christmas album If on a Winter's Night....
00:25:00 Murray plays a selection from the charity album A Very Special Christmas. It's the great Run-D.M.C. with "Christmas in Hollis". Wrap in Peace, Jam Master Jay.
Mike's next pick is a cover of "What's This?" from the The Nightmare Before Christmas (2006 Re-issue) by Fall Out Boy.
00:30:00 Murray is not a fan of The Nightmare Before Christmas. He prefers The Grinch, which he's seen a million times thanks to his son Frank. Murray's life has become an endless carousel of Christmas movies including Rudolph, The Grinch, Charlie Brown, and Frosty the Snowman. "Frosty blows," spouts Murray. This leads to Pat's dirty Jimmy Durante impression. "And then Frosty stuck his carrot penis into Karen. Ah-cha-cha-cha." Something like that.
And now this: "Merry Christmas, Mama" by Bill Cosby. Yup, Pat played that. Cosby impressions are inbound. "Drink some of this eggnog," says Mike Cosby.
00:35:00 Murray looks back on fond memories of David Letterman and the tradition of his next pick, Darlene Love singing "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" originally off the album A Christmas Gift for You.
Mike now has a song that Pat originally played on the Happy Father's Day episode. Off the album Devil's Playground, it's Billy Idol with "Yellin' at the Xmas Tree". The song was played in honor of Pat's dad. A reminder: It wasn't exactly played out of fondness. Pat's brother Kirk doesn't like the public knowing Pat's dad is a jerk. But Pat's parents are luddites to the nth degree, so they'll never know. They think you use the internet to catch fish....... I'll see myself out, make sure you tip your waitress.
00:40:00 Pat gives us a present from Jimmy Pardo. It's an instance when a classic rock artist retools their big song for Christmas. And oh boy, is it a doozy. It's Randy Bachman with "Takin' Care of Christmas" off the album Takin' Care of Christmas. Just let that one sink in.
"Turner and Overdrive must be pulling their hair out."
- Pat

"What's left of their hair."
- Mike
Murray brings a little bit more class to the program. He plays the Elvis Presley classic "Blue Christmas" off of Elvis' Christmas Album.
00:45:00 The three marvel about how many Christmas songs there are and how much longevity so many of them have. All you need is one Christmas hit and you're set, it seems. Mike plays a newer Christmas song called "Ain't No Chimneys in the Projects" by Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings off the album Soul Time! Both Mike and Murray have seen Sharon Jones in concert. Murray's experience had Sharon open for Feist. An energetic soulful R&B act opening for a slight Canadian woman with a candle and some hemp. It did not bode well for Feist, as Murray explains.
00:50:00 This reminds Pat of a Steve Perry interview where he reminisces on AC/DC opening for Journey. AC/DC were impossible to follow. Yeah, it's a little hard to follow "Let There Be Rock" and "Touch Too Much" with "Lights" and "Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'." It would also be hard to follow AC/DC with Pat's next song, which is his wife Pilar's favorite Christmas song. Off the album You Sleigh Me!, it's Tori Amos with "Little Drummer Boy". "I just picture her singing this while she's nursing a pig," says Murray.
Murray whips out his magic hat with his next pick. Off of A Christmas Gift for You, it's "Frosty the Snowman" by The Ronettes.
00:55:00 Mike plays "(It's Gonna Be a) Punk Rock Christmas" by The Ravers. Reactions are mixed. "That's fun," says Pat. "No it's not," replies Murray.
Pat's next pick is a 2014 version of "2000 Miles" by Chrissie Hynde. Well I. would. walk. two. thou. sand. mi-- oh wait, wrong song.
Guzzle down your whiskey (and a few buckets of nails while you're at it), because Murray's next song is by Tom Waits. He plays "Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis" off the album Blue Valentine.
01:00:00 Murray likes the scotch, not the whiskey. He can't handle whiskey or bourbon. A few years ago Mike was on a rafting trip with some Kentuckians and a Scotsman. The Kentuckians gave the Scotsman some of their bourbon, which he found to be too sweet. Then the Scotsman gave the Kentuckians and Mike some of his liquor. This stuff could kill cartoon characters. Thankfully Mike's next (and last) pick isn't as harsh a spirit. It's No Doubt with "Oi to the World" off of A Very Special Christmas 3.
01:05:00 Prog rock bullshit. You wanted it, you got it! Okay, well I wanted it, but you still got it! Pat plays "I Believe in Father Christmas" by Emerson, Lake & Palmer off the album Works Volume 2. This brings back dear memories for Murray: Driving around drunk as a wayward youth on Christmas Eve, looking for fun and frivolity. This brings back some painful memories for Mike because his mother had two Emerson, Lake & Palmer albums. He's still hurting.
While Pat brought his prog rock bullshit, Murray brought his Celtic punk malarkey. Off the album If I Should Fall from Grace with God, it's "Fairytale of New York" by The Pogues feat. Kirsty MacColl.
01:10:00 The Pogues worked on this song for two years. First they brought it to Elvis Costello, then to Steve Lillywhite, who was married to MacColl. MacColl recorded some lyrics in her house, Lillywhite meshed that with the Pogues and a song was born. Murray once worked at a bar and had to kick out Shane McGowan for being too drunk and loud. Murray didn't want to do it (it's like kicking the Pope out of the Vatican) but his boss made him. As Shane shuffled out of the bar and into a limo, he looked back and gave Murray the two-finger salute (the UK equivalent to the middle finger), concluding with a hearty "Fuck off." The Pogues wanted this song to go to number one, but they were left at number two thanks to the Pet Shop Boys. As one member of the Pogues once said, "We lost to two poofs and a drum machine."
01:15:00 Growing up in Pennsylvania, there were three black and white Christmas music videos that would play on TV at 5 in the afternoon: "Frosty the Snowman", "Suzy Snowflake", and "Hardrock, Coco, and Joe". They all feature Rosemary Clooney singing. Pat plays the audio from all three.
Not one to be upstaged by Christmas classics, Murray plays "The Heat Miser Song" by George S. Irving from the special The Year Without a Santa Claus.
01:20:00 A lot of praise is heaped on ol' Heat Miser. At first the guys think Dick Shawn voiced Heat Miser, but he was actually Snow Miser. Murray wants me to put in the weird dance scene with Dick Shawn from It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World. Ask and you shall receive, Valeriano.
Well that was weird. Anyway, Murray plays "Come All Ye Faithful Surfer Girls" by The Chevelles off the album Christmas A Go-Go.
Now it's time for Pat to play a song from A Christmas Gift for You. It's Darlene Love with "Winter Wonderland".
01:25:00 Up next for Murray are his fellow surfing enthusiasts The Beach Boys. It's "Little Saint Nick" off of The Beach Boys Christmas Album. Pat asks if The Beach Boys are in the same league as The Beatles. Mike says no, but they are near the top of American 60s groups. Who else would be there? The Doors, Creedence Clearwater Revival, The Byrds. The Brits really cornered the market on 60s rock bands. Mike posits that Americans prefer solo acts to bands.
We've had some punk, we've had some prog, we've had some soul, and we've had some Celtic. Now is the time... for soft rock to rise to the Yuletide occasion! Pat plays "Celebrate Me Home" by Kenny Loggins off the album Celebrate Me Home.
01:30:00 Rock in Peace to Scott Weiland. Murray plays "Winter Wonderland" off of Scott's Christmas album The Most Wonderful Time of the Year. A sad story but, like many rock star lives, not an unpredictable one.
We go from one rocker to another, as Pat plays another selection from Billy Idol. Off of Happy Holidays, it's "White Christmas".
Pat follows this up with a real classic, "Santa Baby" by Eartha Kitt.
01:35:00 If you guessed that this song would lead Mike and Murray to do Eartha Kitt as Catwoman impressions, congratulations! You won a prize. Discussion turns to Frank Sinatra, him bumping uglies with Ava Gardner, and Brad Garrett. Oh, and Smokey Robinson once hit on Mike's girlfriend.
01:40:00 Murray travels to America's hat for his next pick. Off the album The Great White North, it's the Canadian duo Bob & Doug McKenzie with "The Twelve Days of Christmas".
Up next for Pat is James Taylor. He has a Christmas album called James Taylor at Christmas. Pat plays Taylor's cover of Joni Mitchell's "River". Mike likes the Joni version, but this version bores him. We play a little of the original, which prompts buzzkill Murray to point out that rivers don't freeze.
01:45:00 Murray's next pick is by a band called The Chesterfield Kings. Off the album Christmas A Go-Go, it's "Hey, Santa Claus".
Pat's next song is another Christmas classic, "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" by The Jackson 5 off the album Jackson 5 Christmas Album. "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus, then Joe beat us," adds Murray. Mike and Murray then start laughing hard about Richard Pryor's switch joke.
01:50:00 Pat goes back-to-back with another song, the third instance of "Winter Wonderland". This time it's done by Eurythmics, off the album A Very Special Christmas. A mom at Pat's daughter's school has short hair, so Pat constantly refers to her as Annie Lennox to another mom. "Yeah," chimes in Murray. "I hate moms at school. It's like Mean Girls grew up."
Wait a minute, Pat now goes back-to-back-to-BACK! He plays "Christmas Lights" by Coldplay. Murray enjoys Coldplay, so much so that he doesn't even think Chris Martin is the douchiest member of the band.
"Remember when I said I like my fair share of shitty music? I like Coldplay."
- Murray
01:55:00 Murray's last pick is Dean Martin. It's "Marshmallow World" off of The Dean Martin Christmas Album. Plugs time. Mike is in the Caribbean during Christmas and New Year's Eve. He's on a cruise ship, making his fellow passengers chuckle and guffaw. Thanks to the power of technology, Mike will be here next week for the 2015 Year in Review episode!
02:00:00 Throw on another log and enjoy the holiday season. This show is done. Pat takes us out with "The Christmas Song" by Nat King Cole off the album The Christmas Song. Merry Christmas!
Time Song Album Artist Who
00:05:00 Santa Claus and His Old Lady Single Cheech and Chong Murray
00:10:00 Christmas Christmas Gift Cheap Trick Pat
00:10:00 Please Come Home for Christmas The Very Best Of Eagles Murray
00:15:00 Christmas at the Airport Quality Street: A Seasonal Selection for All the Family Nick Lowe Mike
00:20:00 Soul Cake If on a Winter’s Night… Sting Pat
00:25:00 Christmas in Hollis A Very Special Christmas Run-D.M.C. Murray
00:25:00 What’s This? The Nightmare Before Christmas (2006 Re-issue) Fall Out Boy Mike
00:30:00 Merry Christmas, Mama Single Bill Cosby Pat
00:35:00 Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) A Christmas Gift for You Darlene Love Murray
00:35:00 Yellin’ at the Xmas Tree Devil’s Playground Billy Idol Mike
00:40:00 Takin’ Care of Christmas Takin’ Care of Christmas Randy Bachman Pat
00:40:00 Blue Christmas Elvis’ Christmas Album Elvis Presley Murray
00:45:00 Ain’t No Chimneys in the Projects Soul Time! Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings Mike
00:50:00 Little Drummer Boy You Sleigh Me! Tori Amos Pat
00:50:00 Frosty the Snowman A Christmas Gift for You The Ronettes Murray
00:55:00 (It’s Gonna Be a) Punk Rock Christmas Single The Ravers Mike
00:55:00 2000 Miles Single Chrissie Hynde Pat
00:55:00 Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis Blue Valentine Tom Waits Murray
01:00:00 Oi to the World A Very Special Christmas 3 No Doubt Mike
01:05:00 I Believe in Father Christmas Works Volume 2 Emerson, Lake & Palmer Pat
01:05:00 Fairytale of New York If I Should Fall from Grace with God The Pogues feat. Kirsty MacColl Murray
01:15:00 Frosty the Snowman / Suzy Snowflake / Hardrock, Coco, and Joe N/A Rosemary Clooney Pat
01:15:00 The Heat Miser Song The Year Without a Santa Claus George S. Irving Murray
01:20:00 Come All Ye Faithful Surfer Girls Christmas A Go-Go The Chevelles Murray
01:20:00 Winter Wonderland A Christmas Gift for You Darlene Love Pat
01:25:00 Little Saint Nick The Beach Boys’ Christmas Album The Beach Boys Murray
01:25:00 Celebrate Me Home Celebrate Me Home Kenny Loggins Pat
01:30:00 Winter Wonderland The Most Wonderful Time of the Year Scott Weiland Murray
01:30:00 White Christmas Happy Holidays Billy Idol Pat
01:30:00 Santa Baby Single Eartha Kitt Pat
01:40:00 The Twelve Days of Christmas The Great White North Bob & Doug McKenzie Murray
01:40:00 River James Taylor at Christmas James Taylor Pat
01:45:00 Hey, Santa Claus Christmas A Go-Go The Chesterfield Kings Murray
01:45:00 I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus Jackson 5 Christmas Album The Jackson 5 Pat
01:50:00 Winter Wonderland A Very Special Christmas Eurythmics Pat
01:50:00 Christmas Lights Single Coldplay Pat
01:55:00 Marshmallow World The Dean Martin Christmas Album Dean Martin Murray
02:00:00 The Christmas Song The Christmas Song Nat King Cole Pat

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Episode 231: Download Now!

Episode 231: Download Now!
The often discussed but seldom purchased premium episode is now available for FREE! To everyone who purchased it I thank you deeply for your support of our show. For those who didn't punchase it enjoy an early holiday gift you cheapskates!
From December 17, 2015

With your host:

Pat Francis

Sorry guys, no recap for this week. I have a lot of stuff going on with work thanks to the holiday season, so I decided to take the week off. I promise I will be back next week with full-fledged show notes for episode 232 when things have died down a bit.

As for this episode, it was originally recorded back in May. To sum it up, Pat and Kyle play listener-suggested songs. There is also a heavy amount of nonsense. Maybe the most nonsense ever. Actually, you should thank your lucky stars you don't have to read the nonsense spewing from Pat and Kyle's mouths. I mean, I certainly thanked my lucky stars I didn't have to write this palaver down when I bought it for $1.99 and listened to it back in May. So don't feel too bad about missing the show notes for this week; you're probably better off.

Anyway, I put the songs played, the album artwork, and a link to the episode. Hopefully I spelled the listeners' names right. If I didn't, I apologize. Don't worry, I will be back next week with full-fledged show notes when things have calmed down.


Time Song Album Artist Who
00:05:00 We Belong to the Night Mechanix UFO Pat
00:10:00 Breaking Away Balance Balance Jon Lamoreaux
00:10:00 Winter in the Hamptons Nashville Josh Rouse Erin Gould
00:15:00 Pushover Putting the Days to Bed The Long Winters Tom Neuerberg
00:20:00 Downtown Kaputt Destroyer Jennifer Pelkey
00:25:00 Send a Little Love Token Neptune The Duke Spirit Andrew Rich
00:25:00 Hot Night Crash Kiss & Tell Sahara Hotnights Steve Herold
00:40:00 Stone Cold Yesterday One Simple Word The Connells P.F. Wilson
00:40:00 Shark Fin Blues Wait Long by the River and the Bodies of Your Enemies Will Float By The Drones Ryan Mason
00:45:00 People Will Talk Death of a Salesman The Easthills Jim Glass
00:45:00 Looking for the Magic Twilley Don’t Mind Dwight Twilley Band Philippe Melbourne Dufour
00:50:00 Christabelle Love Too Late The Sorrows Robert Krueger
00:55:00 Frequently Baby (She’s a Teenage Maniac) Devils & Angels Melee Hector Luis Contreras
01:00:00 I Don’t Want to Talk About Love No More Little Fugitive Amy Rigby Jack Maxwell
01:05:00 Whole World Is Watching Hydra Within Temptation Ron Boyd
01:05:00 If Looks Could Kill Let’s Get Out of This Country Camera Obscura Jason Gustafson
01:10:00 Don’t Leave Me This Way Coverdale-Page Coverdale-Page Jason Vogler
01:15:00 Don’t Wanna Lose Rips Ex Hex Michael Esworthy
01:20:00 The Real Me Quadrophenia The Who Frank Biernat
01:20:00 Kiko and the Lavender Moon Kiko Los Lobos Joshua Jackson
01:25:00 Billions of Eyes After Lady Lamb Steve McQuerter
01:35:00 Alone Again Or Forever Changes Love Thomas Tate
01:35:00 Boys in Action Starz Starz Mike Markle
01:35:00 Gift with a Golden Gun Turn Back Toto Pat