Friday, April 3, 2015

Episode 194: 10 Out of 10



Episode 194: 10 Out of 10
Pat and Co-Host April Richardson play songs from albums that they would rate "10 Out Of 10" there's only one catch... these albums can also only contain 10 songs!
From April 2, 2014

With your hosts:

Pat Francis

April Richardson


00:00:00 Pat welcomes us to the show. Kyle is wearing a Superman: Red Sun t-shirt. Speaking of Superman, Pat mentions that Gene Hackman (Lex Luthor himself) once leared at Pat's wife Pilar. Pilar gets to run into people like Dustin Hoffman. It just happens to her. April wonders if Dustin is on Pilar's free pass bang list. "Mrs. Francis, are you trying to seduce me," he would probably say. For those not in the know, the free pass bang list is the list of people you and/or your spouse would have sex with if given the opportunity. April had that type of list, as did her ex-husband. Who is on April's list? Alec Baldwin, Jon Hamm, George Clooney. The usual suspects.
"Is Bill Cosby on your list?"
- Pat, with the line of the episode

"I'm on his list, which is weird. I never knew that."
- April, with the other line of the episode
00:05:00 Pat frets over the intricacy of the list. It's a free pass, baby, just go with it. What if the people on your spouse's list don't look anything like you, he asks. Uh oh. Katherine Heigl was on April's ex's list. This was before she was known as a major bitch. April doesn't hold it against him. Pat thinks as long as he can compete with guys on the list, it’s okay. But that's not the point, rebuts April, it's supposed to be people out of your league. For Pat, that would be a rather big list, I understand, but those are the rules.
Story time: April went to a Justin Timberlake concert with a stranger. April's dad is a high roller in Vegas and he got her free tickets to the show. She had no one to go with, so she messaged the ladies on Twitter that this extra seat was up for grabs. A girl named Stevie (after Nicks) answered the call.
00:10:00 70's Stevie Nicks would be on Pat's list. Stranger Stevie knew April through her Twitter and podcast. The show was incredible. And they were killer seats, the kind that high rollers get. She even got a free night at the hotel out of it. Pat asks Kyle if he has any cool stories? "No." Well, alright then.
Today's topic is called 10 Out of 10. These are albums that you consider to be perfect 10 out of 10s, BUT the added twist is that they can only be albums with exactly 10 songs. Which means that there are no Beatles, no Who, no R.E.M. and no U2. It's a tricky day indeed. Pat starts us off with the Rolling Stones album Some Girls. He plays the song "Shattered".
00:15:00 April's first pick is by Joy Division. The song is "She's Lost Control" off their album Unknown Pleasures. Pat knows nothing about Joy Division. He queries about the thing on the Unknown Pleasures album cover. April looks it up and they are images of radio waves. Pat learns that New Order grew out of Joy Division once Ian Curtis bit the dust. April hates The Doors, but she tolerates their existence because they influenced Joy Division. Jim Morrison is not on April's list.
Jim Morrison, just seconds after finding out he wasn't on April's list.
00:20:00 Shoutout to comedian and former guest Geoff Tate because Pat's next 10 out of 10 album is Long After Dark by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. The song is called "Straight into Darkness". Geoff really loves Tom Petty. Every album is a 10, and if it's not a 10, it's a 9.5.
April has a technicality! Her next album is the US version of Power, Corruption & Lies by New Order. She plays "Age of Consent". New Order is better, says Pat. Ian Curtis taking a dirt nap actually worked out in the end.
Speaking of dead people, Pat's next album by Pretenders came out after their bassist and guitarist kicked their respective buckets. Pat plays "Watching the Clothes" off of Learning to Crawl.
00:25:00 Pat brings up Chrissie Hynde on WTF with Marc Maron. Pat notes that Maron's knowledge on Chrissie is limited, which hurt the interview. April complains about the same thing with Huey Lewis and Dave Grohl. But Maron gets everyone. Pat's going back to London in July and is still... STILL... trying to make the Chrissie Hynde interview happen. Fingers and toes crossed.
Break out the kleenex. April's next pick is Your Arsenal by Morrissey. She plays the song "Certain People I Know".
00:30:00 Oh boy, more death. Pat notes that no one dislikes Bon Scott or Brian Johnson. They are both equally beloved. Pat plays "Shake a Leg" by AC/DC off the album Back in Black.
The next album on April's list is Coming Up by a band called Suede. When April was a DJ, she often played this band. Wait, what? April was a DJ? Yes, she DJ'ed dance parties for her friends. She didn't get paid, it just something fun to do. On a similar note, Pat picked all the songs for his high school reunion. Nobody cared. While Pat reminisces his past sorrows, April plays the song "Beautiful Ones".
00:35:00 Pat brings up (again) his love of early 1980s Elton John. His next pick is Too Low for Zero. Pat and April gush over the album. Pat plays the title track "Too Low for Zero". April follows this up with her own EJ pick "Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters" from the album Honky Chateau. April saw Elton two years ago in Vegas and he shredded. Oddly, he's on Pat's list. Pilar got Pat tickets to finally see Elton John in Vegas for his birthday. They flew there, had a nice dinner, and went to the venue. It turns out Elton was sick and the show was cancelled. For crying out loud, is there some unwritten law of nature that Pat Francis can't get a win?
00:40:00 April notes that when Elton lived in Atlanta, he went to Tower Records once a week to buy new stuff. Pat brings up how, except for 1987, Elton has an album out for every year of the 1980s. There is the not-writing-your-own-songs argument, but you still got to make a rockin' song out of it. Give that duck suited man some credit, people.
As much as Van Halen I is a mammoth album, Pat prefers Van Halen II. He plays "Outta Love Again" by Van Halen. If only DLR kept his voice intact. All that cocaine does its damage. There's a new live album coming out and perhaps they should have touched it up a bit. David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar are both clowns. The difference is that Sammy is self-aware that he is a clown.
00:45:00 It's April's pick again and she picks The Lexicon of Love by ABC. She wonders if she played "Tears Are Not Enough" on the Saxual Harassment show? Well, Kyle checks the handy dandy Rock Solid Guide to find out! Ya see? I told you this would be useful someday. April flew to Sheffield, England just to see ABC in concert. The verdict is in and "Tears Are Not Enough" was not played on the Saxual Harassment show. So here is "Tears Are Not Enough".
Up next for Pat are The Police. Off the album Outlandos d'Amour, it's "Truth Hits Everybody".
00:50:00 It wouldn't be an April Richardson show without an obscure post-punk band. Her next pick is "Apocalypse" by The Monochrome Set, off the album Love Zombies. The lead singer Bid (yeah, just Bid, welcome to post-punk) messaged April on Facebook and she was over the moon.
We go from happiness to grouchiness with Paul Simon. Pat plays "When Numbers Get Serious" off the album Hearts and Bones. Originally it was supposed to be a Simon & Garfunkel album, but Paul pulled all of Art's vocals. What a movie villain thing to do. Paul Simon and Sting are on tour together. "The Pretentious Tour," agrees all three.
00:55:00 April's next pick is the album Rattlesnakes by Lloyd Cole and the Commotions. April mentions that she listens to this album all the time, leaving Pat stunned because she says that about all the music that she plays on the show. How does she have so much time to listen to music? April reminds Pat that she has no day job and lives a solitary life. Well, that would explain it. She listens to music constantly. Pat, meanwhile, has familial responsibilities. He can't afford to spend all day listening to Asia and Rick Springfield. April tried seeing Cole at Largo, but she couldn't get tickets. She felt a little weird asking Lloyd Cole personally for tickets (she knows him a little). Pat felt the same way when he asked April for Foo Fighters tickets. April met Lloyd when she couldn't get into a Commotions concert because the venue said she was too young. April saw Lloyd at the bar, they talked, and he got her into the show. Pat wonders how the hell you ask something like that to an artist that you don't know. "It helps to be a girl," admits April.
01:00:00 Anyway, April plays the song off the aforementioned album. It's called "Forest Fire".
Pat's next pick is Queen. He plays "Sail Away Sweet Sister" off the album The Game. Pat asks his pals Kyle and April about a line from a Queen song "Don't Try Suicide." What does "it gets on my tits" mean? A little thinking done and we figure out that it means it gets on my nerves.
01:05:00 We're taking the next bus to Fascination Street because April's next pick is The Cure. She plays "Six Different Ways" off the album The Head on the Door. Robert Smith still wears the makeup. April bets that his face is just permanently stained that way. You could put silly putty on his bare face and peel off the makeup counter at Macy's.
Whatever you do, don't say his name three times.
Pat takes us back to the upbeat arena rock that we all know and love. It's "Anytime" by Journey off the album Infinity.
01:10:00 Someone just walked into the studio. Well well well, if it isn't the "Snowman" Mike Siegel. He still protests the joke that he is a massive cocaine addict. He only did it one time, he says. Denial, just like always. While Mike wallows in the corner trying to survive the comedown, April plays her next pick. Off the album The Queen Is Dead, it's The Smiths with "Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others". It's a big tits joke. Those Smiths, always with the gallows humor. Why can't they be more sophisticated like those nice Ramones boys?
It's Pat's last pick and he bequeaths it to Misfits by The Kinks. He plays "Get Up".
01:15:00 April gives out her apologies to Pretty Hate Machine by Nine Inch Nails, Parachutes by Coldplay, Cosmic Thing by The B-52s, and If You're Feeling Sinister by Belle and Sebastian. Her last pick is Something About Planes by Death Cab for Cutie. April saw the band at a very early show in their careers. There were four people in the audience. Then the band slept on her floor. And then when they got big and came back around, they forgot about April and her friends.
Before we hear the song (which is also the closeout for today), April plugs her stand up comedy tour with Chris Hardwick. You can go to funcomfortabletour.com to check out the dates and locations. April is opening for Chris everywhere except for New York City and Chicago. Someone else is taking those big cities. They aren't flying the Nerdist jet, as Pat describes it, because there is no Nerdist jet. Chris goes first class, while April goes coach. One time Never Not Funny was traveling to a live show in Atlanta. Pat and Jimmy sat in first class, while Pardo had to sit in coach like a bum. Tales about shenanigans on planes leads to a story from Kyle about how he once stole a life jacket from a plane.
01:20:00 Another time, Matt was bending down in his seat to get something from his bag, so Pat unhooked the tray table and sent it clunking down on Matt's head. What a goofball.
Another day, another dollar, another episode is in the books. April takes us home with the song "President of What?".
Time Song Album Artist Who
00:10:00 Shattered Some Girls The Rolling Stones Pat
00:15:00 She’s Lost Control Unknown Pleasures Joy Division April
00:20:00 Straight into Darkness Long After Dark Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers Pat
00:20:00 Age of Consent Power, Corruption & Lies New Order April
00:20:00 Watching the Clothes Learning to Crawl The Pretenders Pat
00:25:00 Certain People I Know Your Arsenal Morrissey April
00:30:00 Shake a Leg Back in Black AC/DC Pat
00:30:00 Beautiful Ones Coming Up Suede April
00:35:00 Too Low for Zero Too Low for Zero Elton John Pat
00:35:00 Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters Honky Chateau Elton John April
00:40:00 Outta Love Again Van Halen II Van Halen Pat
00:45:00 Tears Are Not Enough The Lexicon of Love ABC April
00:45:00 Truth Hits Everybody Outlandos d’Amour The Police Pat
00:50:00 Apocalypso Love Zombies The Monochrome Set April
00:50:00 When Numbers Get Serious Hearts and Bones Paul Simon Pat
01:00:00 Forest Fire Rattlesnakes Lloyd Cole and the Commotions April
01:00:00 Sail Away Sweet Sister The Game Queen Pat
01:05:00 Six Different Ways The Head on the Door The Cure April
01:05:00 Anytime Infinity Journey Pat
01:10:00 Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others The Queen Is Dead The Smiths April
01:10:00 Get Up Misfits The Kinks Pat
01:20:00 President of What? Something About Planes Death Cab for Cutie April

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