Friday, July 18, 2014

Episode 157: Female Artists with Heather Stewart

Episode 157: Female Artists with Heather Stewart
Pat and Co-Host Murray Valeriano sit down with Singer-Songwriter Heather Stewart to discuss their favorite female recording artists. Heather just might sing too!
From July 17, 2014

With your hosts:

Pat Francis

Murray Valeriano

00:00:00 Pat welcomes us to the show. Murray is here, as is Kyle. Kyle is off-mic today because we have a special guest in studio, and it's a new friend of Pat's! Pat's been making lots of new friends lately. He's like a dog that goes to a new park. He meets the other dogs, sniffs their butts, and plays them his Steely Dan albums. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the show, singer-songwriter Heather Stewart!
Heather thinks Kyle not talking so much makes him mysterious like Wolverine. Hey, he's already got the shitty facial hair, I guess it could work. We get into a brief discussion about Wolverine's metal claws and bone claws. Murray has no idea what's going on. Kyle tries to explain and gets called a nerd.
Today's topic: female artists! Pat and Murray brought their favorites, Heather brought her inspirations (and some newbies too). Heather's new album is called "What It Is." She's put out a covers album prior to this one. Her favorite cover is "Hurry It's Lovely Up Here" by Barbara Streisand.
00:05:00 Pat asks Heather, what do women want to be called? Lady, ma'am, woman, gal? How about tail, chick, or dame? And then there's skirt and broad. Heather says that "girl" sounds too young and pervy.
Pat and Heather plays tennis a lot. She's got a rocket serve and Pat's afraid of it. Heather is the biggest swearer on the court. She doesn't like losing. Kyle's brother Casey is 1000% worse. He really wants to win. This is why Murray doesn't play organized sports. He surfs. Heather thinks surfers are dicks, what with their territorial attitudes and shit. Murray says that Heather has watched too many surf movies. Although he does say that Hawaii can get territorial. But they get to do that shit, they earned it. When you're selling pukka shell necklaces on the beach for $5 to the people who conquered you, I guess you kinda have the right to be a prick every once in a while.
00:10:00 What does mahalo mean? Thank you. As in, "Thank you for buying this pukka shell necklace, asshole." Murray's drinking Burger King coffee. It's utter catsuit, but he has to drink it to stay awake. All of Heather's picks made it except for the Lucinda Williams mp3. Heather saw Lucinda in concert and liked her guitarist Blake Mills so much that she got him for her album. Now he's on tour with Fiona Apple. "Meh," say Pat and Murray. There's no Fiona today, in case you were wondering.
Since Heather is our guest, she gets to go first. She plays "The Road's My Middle Name" by Bonnie Raitt, off her Grammy-winning album Nick of Time. Bonnie Raitt is the shit. She made a big comeback in the 80s. When Heather's husband Alex gave Pat her CD, he told him "This is the shit." Awwwwwwwww. Someone's getting laid tonight.
00:15:00 Pat's first pick is none other than… dun dun DUUUUUUN!… Heather Stewart! Off her new album What It Is, it's "Black and Blue". It's really great. Pat thinks it sounds like a James Bond theme. Better than some of the actual Bond themes out there (I'm looking at you, A-ha). Heather says the song just happened like that. It's about two people who have a contentious relationship, but just end up fucking anyways. Sounds healthy. Heather calls Timothy Dalton an underrated James Bond, and I agree. She saw him at Costco a few years ago.
Murray's first pick ripped up a picture of the Pope on live television. And she was bald. And Irish. Look, she was a lot of things, too many to type. It's Sinead O'Connor with "The Wolf Is Getting Married", off her album How About I Be Me (And You Be You)?.
00:20:00 Sinead's got a whole new look now. She grew her hair, lost weight. Good for you, Sinead. Pat said Heather only had to bring 6 or 7 songs. Murray brought 18. 18! That's… hold on… carry the one… move the decimal… three times as many songs that Pat allotted. Oh, by the way, Murray does not hate Linda Ronstadt, Pat. He also doesn't steal his music. Well, not all of it. Those vicious rumors, they sure do spread like wildfire.
"Psst. I hear Murray secretly loves Kiss."
Heather's next pick is an original version of a very famous cover. It's Big Mama Thornton with her single "Hound Dog". No offense to Elvis, but Big Mama got some pipes on her. She probably didn't make a cent off her music. Somehow we get into names of porno titles. "Pandora's Box." "Game of Bones." Then we get into Facebook talk. Heather is on Facebook at The Real Heather Stewart.
00:25:00 Murray and Heather start talking about a mutual friend. Pat feels left out, so he tries pretending he knows this other friend. We see through your fallacies, Francis, so don't bother trying.
Pat's next pick is a former guest of Rock Solid, Melissa Etheridge. Off her album Breakdown, it's the song "Stronger Than Me". Murray really liked the Melissa Etheridge episode of Rock Solid. She and Sophie B. Hawkins have performed together. Sophie is also of the lesbian persuasion. There's a documentary about Sophie B. Hawkins called "The Cream Will Rise." On another note, Heather is on a website called It's all pictures of women who have died in movies and TV shows. Heather is on it choking to death.
00:30:00 Heather's website is It lists her as a singer, songwriter, actor, and occasional cryer. Speaking of crying, Pat's a pissy-eyed little girl. He cried during the country episode, he almost cried during last week's Bobbie Brown interview. He just can't keep the tears from flowing.
The next female artist on Murray's list is Karen O, the lead singer of The Yeah Yeah Yeahs. She worked with Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo Soundtrack. The song is a cover of Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song". Name drop alert: Murray met Trent Reznor at an Oscar party when he won for The Social Network. Murray told him he was a big fan, and Trent said that with all the old Hollywood big shots in the room, he was probably the only one there. Heather saw Nine Inch Nails at 11 years old in 1993. An 11-year-old girl singing "Closer," now that's something I'd like to see. Heather gets ready to play a song live in studio. Her guitar doesn't have a name.
00:35:00 Murray's first guitar was named Erica. He paid for it with money he got from working at Burger King. I'm sensing a pattern. Anyway, Heather plays a song off her new album What It Is. The song is "What It Is". It's early on a Sunday morning and Heather sounds perfect.
00:40:00 Heather's next pick is the female duo Indigo Girls. The song is "Least Complicated", off the album Swamp Ophelia. Indigo Girls are both lesbians. They're not lovers, they're not sisters, they're just friends. One of the Indigo Girls has a restaurant. "It's called The Tuna Boat," says Pat. It gets a nice mix of chuckles and moans from the other people in the room. Indigo Girls are still together. Pat wants to get into them because he's an angst-ridden 22-year-old woman.
We're dropping names left and right here. Timothy Dalton, Trent Reznor. Pat met Chrissie Hynde in London. He met her previously in 2008 and she looked awful. This time, she looked classy and dignified.
00:45:00 Pat plays his next pick. Off her solo album Stockholm, it's "Sweet Nuthin'" by Chrissie Hynde. People who hate The Pretenders: What are you thinking?
First there was only Florence Welch. Then along came The Machine. And that's exactly what Murray's next pick is, Florence + the Machine. He plays "What the Water Gave Me" off their second album Ceremonials. That album is much better than the first. It's a sophomore surge, to use Rock Solid lingo. Pat, Heather, and Murray talk about people who don't get into bands just to sound hip. Guess what, if you say you don't like The Beatles, you suck.
Heather's going real old school with her next pick. Off her self-titled album, it's Patsy Cline with "Walkin' After Midnight".
Full disclosure, Pat's wife Pilar loves Patsy Cline. Pat ordered her greatest hits via Amazon and it came overnight. Murray gets freaked out when the mailman comes on a Sunday. Maybe he's part dog.
00:50:00 Pat urges his next pick Carly Simon to tour. "She's dead," whispers Murray, which cracks everyone up. Hold on a second, someone else has walked into the studio. It's Bruce Springsteen!
Bruce really likes the cover of Carly's album No Secrets. It's sexy because Carly isn't wearing a bra. On a scale of 1 to 4, Bruce gives the album cover 1! 2! 3! 4!
Bruce leaves and Pat plays "The Right Thing to Do".
Pat's tried to get Carole King in the studio, but no such luck. Heather's husband Alex wrote a song on the album. He's very nonchalant about his talent. He wrote it in 15 minutes.
00:55:00 It's time for Murray to represent the hip hop ladies. He picks M.I.A. and her hit song "Paper Planes", off the album Kala. That song was in EVERY movie trailer when it came out. Quick bit of Rock Solid trivia: What rock song is sampled for the main riff? It's "Straight to Hell" by The Clash.
Heather's next pick is by Sheryl Crow and Shelby Lynne and it's originally off of Crow's album The Globe Sessions, but Heather chose a live version from the Grammys. It's "The Different Kind". Shelby Lynne, by the way? A lesbian. That makes 5 lesbians mentioned so far on the show, which might be a record. Guinness, here we come.
Murray wrote some songs way back in the day. He was also in bands in college. He and Heather talk some more, and Pat is incensed at their budding friendship.
01:00:00 Murray says he once chipped his tooth on a Jew's harp. Why he was trying to eat the Rabbi's instrument, we'll never know. Ba dum bum.
Pat's next pick still won't sign his albums. It's Pat Benatar with "All Fired Up", off the album Wide Awake in Dreamland. Murray's brother used to call her Pat BeNAYter. That album came out in 1988. Kyle was born in 1989, which upsets everyone. Stupid Kyle and his youth. Pat has 5 copies of Heather's album to give away to listeners. She'll sign them too.
For his next pick, Murray's got a British band, The Duke Spirit. Off their album Neptune, the song is called "Lassoo".
01:05:00 Pat absolutely loves Heather's new album. He sounds like he's sucking up to her, but he swears that he isn't. He thinks it's just as good as a Sheryl Crow album or any other contemporary female artist. Murray agrees that the album is great. But it's hard to get your music out there these days. Pat wants the veterans to bring the newer guys out on tour with them. Heather actually gave an album to her friend to give to Sheryl Crow. But he had to give it to Sheryl's people instead because if he gave it to Sheryl personally, she could possibly get sued. In a similar story, Murray stood in line to get Don Henley's autograph. Yes, that Don Henley. People in line tried giving him CDs and Henley yelled at them because he could get sued if he took them. The Eagles documentary is great because within five minutes, you hate The Eagles.
"They should have been called The Egos."
- Heather, with the line of the episode.
01:10:00 It's time for Heather to strap on her guitar again and play a song live in-studio. Off her album What It Is, it's the song "Had It All". She still sounds perfect. Pat tells Heather about his four rotating co-hosts. Pat and Murray can't be together every week because the show would just be absolute madness. Pat says that Murray is the worst co-host but he has the most fun with him. It's a strange enigma.
01:15:00 You don't really hear the name Murray that often, says Heather. Au contrare, says Murray. A lot of the hipsters are naming their kids Murray, or Oliver, which is Jimmy Pardo's son's name. Fucking hipsters, stop stealing our names! Murray's son is named Frank. As in, Frank the Tank. He's a big kid. Not fat, just big. His name is Frank, not Francis. Naming him Francis would just not do him any favors.
Think about it: Do you really wanna name your kid Francis?
Pat's next pick is another former guest of Rock Solid, Kathleen Wilhoite. From her album Shiva, it's "I Stopped Asking". Kathleen was in Road House, she was on E.R. A ton of stuff. She's got one of those "I know that guy" careers. Pat wants Heather and Kathleen to get together.
01:20:00 Murray hates the expression "right in my wheelhouse." What the hell is a wheelhouse, anyway? Kyle does some research and says that a wheelhouse is where a ship's wheel is found. Um, okay?
In any case, Murray plays his next pick: "My Name Is Trouble" by Keren Ann, off her album 101. Pat's feeling curious. Does Murray listen to these artists regularly, or is just trying to seem hip and cool to Heather? Murray assures that he listens to these women regularly. We get into talking about St. Vincent. Pat thinks she's trying too hard. Speaking of saints, how about that "St. Anger" by Metallica? That gets brought up, as does the documentary Some Kind of Monster. Metallica in therapy, how embarrassing. Kirk Hammett is quiet the whole movie until they decide to get rid of the guitar solos.
01:25:00 Heather's next pick is by a woman named Laura Marling. Off her album A Creature I Don't Know, the song is called "Sophia". The song has a very 70s Laurel Canyon vibe.
Pat's next pick has three names: Rickie Lee Jones. The song is "Juke Box Fury" from her album The Magazine. Heather says Rickie sounds like the happy 80s.
01:30:00 Murray gives his apologies to Patti Smith, Arcade Fire, Kate Bush, Morningwood, and Cyndi Lauper. His next pick is by Jenny Lewis and her former band Rilo Kiley. Off the album More Adventurous, it's a great song called "Portions for Foxes".
Heather apologizes to no one, because what can you do? Her next pick is "Long Ride Home" by Patty Griffin, off her album 1000 Kisses. Patty Griffin is married to Robert Plant. Talk about a power couple.
01:35:00 Pat's second-to-last pick is by Suzanne Vega. Off her album Nine Objects of Desire, the song is called "No Cheap Thrill". Pat ran into that damn Luka the other day. You know Luka, right? He lives on the second floor? Well Luka's face was all banged up. Pat asked what happened and Luka said he fell and bumped his head. Pat warns him that he's too loud up there on that second floor. If Luka knows what's good for him, he'll keep the noise down. Otherwise, he'll be wearing Pat's knuckles for glasses.
Pat gives out the plugs. @HeatherStewart on Twitter. Tomorrow Pat'll post a question to the listeners to win Heather's new album.
Despite Murray having made fun of Pat for weeping like a washwoman, when he first heard his last pick, he shed a tear. It's Annie Lennox with "Why", off her album Diva.
01:40:00 Heather's last song is by Roberta Flack. It's "The First Time Ever I Saw Her Face" off the album First Take. Kyle's dad played him the Neil Diamond version of that song. Uggggh. Neil ruins another great song. When cable first came on, The Jazz Singer was on every ten minutes. It's a bad movie, but you can bet your ass that it's on Pat's DVD shelf. We're going on a tangent. Pat plays the original demo of "Love on the Rocks" called "Scotch on the Rocks." I can't make this stuff up, folks.
Pat gives apologies to Ann Wilson, Stevie Nicks, Lisa Loeb, Mary Chapin Carpenter, and Joan Jett. And apologies to Heather Stewart for making her sit through this malarkey.
The show is wrapping up, and Pat's gonna play us out with Heather Stewart. Off her new album What It Is, it's "Stand Up".
Time Song Album Artist Who
00:10:00 The Road's My Middle Name Nick of Time Bonnie Raitt Heather
00:15:00 Black and Blue What It Is Heather Stewart Pat
00:15:00 The Wolf Is Getting Married How About I Be Me (And You Be You)? Sinead O'Connor Murray
00:20:00 Hound Dog Single Big Mama Thornton Heather
00:25:00 Stronger Than Me Breakdown Melissa Etheridge Pat
00:30:00 Immigrant Song The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo Soundtrack Karen O, Trent Reznor, & Atticus Ross Murray
00:35:00 What It Is What It Is Heather Stewart Heather (Live In-Studio)
00:40:00 Least Complicated Swamp Ophelia Indigo Girls Heather
00:45:00 Sweet Nuthin' Stockholm Chrissie Hynde Pat
00:45:00 What the Water Gave Me Ceremonials Florence + the Machine Murray
00:45:00 Walkin' After Midnight Patsy Cline Patsy Cline Heather
00:50:00 The Right Thing to Do No Secrets Carly Simon Pat
00:55:00 Paper Planes Kala M.I.A. Murray
00:55:00 The Difficult Kind The Globe Sessions Sheryl Crow & Shelby Lynne Heather
01:00:00 All Fired Up Wide Awake in Dreamland Pat Benatar Pat
01:00:00 Lassoo Neptune The Duke Spirit Murray
01:10:00 Had It All What it Is Heather Stewart Heather (Live In-Studio)
01:15:00 I Stopped Asking Shiva Kathleen Wilhoite Pat
01:20:00 My Name Is Trouble 101 Keren Ann Murray
01:25:00 Sophia A Creature I Don't Know Laura Marling Heather
01:25:00 Juke Box Fury The Magazine Rickie Lee Jones Pat
01:30:00 Portions for Foxes More Adventurous Rilo Kiley Murray
01:30:00 Long Ride Home 1000 Kisses Patty Griffin Heather
01:35:00 No Cheap Thrill Nine Objects of Desire Suzanne Vega Pat
01:35:00 Why Diva Annie Lennox Murray
01:40:00 The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face First Take Roberta Flack Heather
01:45:00 Stand Up What It Is Heather Stewart Pat (closing song)

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