Thursday, July 10, 2014

Episode 156: Bobbie Brown

Episode 156: Bobbie Brown
Pat sits down with model, actress and author Bobbie Brown to discuss her autobiography "Dirty Rocker Boys: Love and Lust on the Sunset Strip."
From July 10, 2014

With your host:

Pat Francis

00:00:00 Pat welcomes us to the show. We have a special guest in studio today: she's an actress, a model, a reality TV star, and now an author, it's Bobbie Brown!
Bobbie's book is her memoir called Dirty Rocker Boys: Love and Lust on the Sunset Strip. Pat's read it, he loved it. It's a quick read, very entertaining from start to finish. There were parts where he laughed, parts where he gasped. It gets a bit dark. Pat has four copies of the book to give away to listeners later on. The book is four years in the making. Bobbie was on season one of her show Ex-Wives of Rock. She had a horrible publisher/agent. She got a new agent who got her an attorney, a ghost writer, and within a year she had a book deal.
Bobbie's daughter Taylar is hear as well, off-mic. She read the book. Bobbie was apprehensive about giving her the book because there are some very personal stories in it. Taylar gagged at the sex stories, as any kid would. But Taylar is proud and thought it was a good book. She knew what to expect. Pat likes how Bobbie is very self-deprecating and actually takes responsibility for what happened in her past, which a lot of celeb bios don't do.
00:05:00 She also recently performed stand-up comedy at The Laugh Factory for charity. She had to do five minutes of stand-up and raised money for St. Jude Children's Hospital. She pulled it off, even though she was so nervous she doesn't remember any of the five minutes. Sounds like my sex life. Thank you, try the veal. I'll be here all week.
Pat asks if anyone called Bobbie to complain to her about what she wrote about them. Bobbie says Tommy Lee, her ex-fiance, was very angry. Tommy is like a little kid in a man's body. He needs constant devotion. It seems though that Tommy only got angry because Bobbie was telling the truth, according to Pat. Thou protesteth too much, and all that shit. Bobbie says that she isn't trying to make anyone angry or feel bad, she just wants to tell the story from her perspective.
Since this is a music podcast, Pat has brought along some songs to play that relate to Bobbie's life. First up is that French-Canadian delight, Celine Dion. Off the album Let's Talk About Love, it's the love theme from Titanic, "My Heart Will Go On".
00:10:00 But wait, why is Pat playing that? Well, near the beginning of the book, Bobbie tells a story about her and Leonardo DiCaprio. Leo was young and still a working actor at this time. The Basketball Diaries had just come out. He was constantly at the clubs, dancing up against Bobbie. He wanted her badly. Finally, he broke Bobbie down and soon enough, they did the sideways tango together. Bobbie says that Leo was pretty big where it counted. But then again, she was on drugs, so who knows? Maybe her depth perception was off and it seemed closer than it actually was.
Bobbie also talks about Stephen Dorff. He was an arrogant bitch back then. His stupid blu cigarettes suck too, so that's no surprise. She also tells a weird story about Kevin Costner. Costner would call her house, tell her to turn on the TV, and turn to a particular channel because Dances with Wolves was on. He did it constantly. And every time Costner's character would speak on screen, the real Costner would stop talking until his dialogue was over. Fuckin' actors. Nice guy, though. Boring like a sack full of towels, but nice.
Bobbie grew up in Louisiana. She was also on Star Search. In fact, Bobbie had more spokesmodel wins on Star Search than any other person. She lost the final round to another girl. People suspected a fix, but Bobbie let it go. The other girl had 3 wins, while Bobbie had 13. The winner's people were talking to the judges beforehand, so we'll leave it at that.
00:15:00 Where is that girl now? Nobody knows, nobody cares. Bobbie didn't get any prize money from Star Search, but she did get a lot of work from it. Does Bobbie like the term "video vixen?" She doesn't care. But she hates the term groupie. She wasn't a groupie, she was a working model, and married. She wasn't grinding up on guys, guys were coming to her.
Bobbie came to LA to be an actress, but her first gigs were modeling. Soon the sunset strip hair metal bands broke big. And with that came music videos. And with those came the hot chicks in music videos. Everyone wanted to find their Tawny Kitaen. Bobbie's first music video was for a band called Hurricane, which had Kelly Hansen, the now-lead singer of Foreigner. Off their album Over the Edge, Pat plays "I'm on to You".
Besides Cherry Pie, Bobbie didn't get music video jobs from other music videos. She just met the people, gave them her headshot, and they decided. The funny thing is that she doesn't really like hair metal. Bobbie likes dance music, R&B, pop, and hip hop. As she says, she was "the Blackest White girl in her hometown."
00:20:00 After Hurricane, Bobbie got with Great White. Pat plays the song which Bobbie was in the music video for. It's "Once Bitten, Twice Shy", from the album …Twice Shy. "Once Bitten" was a very fun music video. The next video, for "House of Broken Love," was not. She was Great White's girl. Jack Russell was using drugs. They had to wait all day before the band would come out to shoot. Bobbie is very impatient.
As she's doing all this, Bobbie's parents were proud of her. She's NOT partying at this point in her career. Around this time, she starts dating Matthew Nelson, one of half of the band Nelson. You know, those twins who had more luscious hair than any supermodel ever. Bobbie calls the Nelson twins bizarre. One was good twin, one was bad twin. The bad twin was Gunnar. How the hell do you name your kids Gunnar and Matthew, Ricky Nelson? Have some consistency with the naming. It's like naming them Thelonious and Bob. Gunnar was jealous of Bobbie. Bobbie thought she was cooler than Nelson. They were, how you say, effeminate in their fashion sense. Gunnar and Bobbie eventually made amends, but he was very pervy.
00:25:00 After they broke up, Matthew was trying to get Bobbie back. Pat plays their big hit, "(Can't Live Without Your) Love and Affection", off the album After the Rain. No surprise that Nelson didn't last very long. Rumor has it that someone placed a voodoo curse on them to put the kibosh on their careers. Who would do such a thing? Bobbie Brown, of course! She practices the ways of the black magic, the dark arts as some would call it. Nelson broke her heart, so down the tubes his success did go. Goodbye hit records, hello Celebrity Fit Club!
Chapter four of the book opens with this line: "'Well, don't you look pretty,' said O.J. Simpson." Greatest opening line ever. Eddie Murphy also gets mentioned. And Scott Baio too, who's apparently a real creep. Pat's heard some things about ol' Chachi. Bobbie went on a date with him and Scott brought a guy from his show with him, a little lapdog at his beck and call. Ewww. Baio is all dark and jaded now. Hollywood chewed him up and spat him out. Why does Scott need that guy brown-nosing him all the time? Bobbie thinks some people need that constant ass-kissing yes man by their side 24/7.
00:30:00 We're moving on to Jani Lane and Warrant. Pat plays "Heaven", off their debut album Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking Rich. Bobbie gets choked up every time she hears that song. On the set of the "Cherry Pie" video, she had no idea that Warrant wrote "Heaven." Jani specifically requested Bobbie after watching her on Star Search. He and Tommy Lee were watching Star Search and they had a competition to see which one would "date" Bobbie. How "romantic." I guess if you want to get a girl to like you, having her be in your music video is a great start.
I'll be right back, I'm gonna go to my bedroom and………do stuff.
Bobbie didn't think her role would be that big. She ended up being the entire video. It's completely over the top. It's sexy, it's sexist, it's raunchy, it's funny. They wouldn't air it in Canada. The record company told the band that they needed another song for the album, something poppy, catchy, upbeat. Jani wrote "Cherry Pie" in 15 minutes on a pizza box while sitting on the toilet. ON THE TOILET! The only thing I can produce on the toilet in 15 minutes is last night's steak dinner.
00:35:00 Jani was very self-conscious about his music and his success. Even though he could write these amazing songs, he always had to compete with himself and the other bands to be better. Pat plays "Cherry Pie", off the album Cherry Pie. It was effortless, a catchy anthem for the masses. The only way you don't think of the music video when you hear the song is if you've never seen the video. Does Bobbie get annoyed at being mainly known as "the Cherry Pie girl?" She was at the time, she didn't get the hype. Now she welcomes it. It's how people know her.
After some courtship, Jani wins Bobbie over. Were they really in love? Oh yes, totally. Bobbie helped Jani with his style. Nothing against the 80s, but it sure did suck fashion-wise. Jani had no style, not even in the 2000s. Taylar can't even comprehend what Jani was wearing in old photos.
00:40:00 The other members of Warrant were nice, except for when they tried to cheat in front of her. They were happy-go-lucky, fun guys. They weren't the dingy, heroin-stained trash monsters that were Guns N' Roses.
Bobbie was told early on that she might not be able to have kids. Lo and behold, along comes Taylar. Bobbie and Jani get married. This brings up a cute little story about Sebastian Bach. Bobbie went to a Guns N' Roses show. She's about five months pregnant and married. Jani wasn't exactly embracing the pregnancy. Sebastian Bach is super tall. Back then, he was a reflection of Narcissus. Over the years, alcohol and Father Time have turned him into Greg "The Hammer" Valentine. Anyway, backstage at GNR, Sebastian kicks open the door, sees Bobbie, grabs a handful of ice, and pours it right down her top. Because that's rock and roll, maaaaaaaaaan.
00:45:00 Then Sebastian lays a kiss on her. The next night, Bobbie is meeting his wife. That's crazy! That's what crazy people do! You don't just hit on a girl, then take them to your wife in the span of 24 hours. There's a minimum week waiting period, at least. Come on, Bach, get it together.
Pat's embarrassed to talk about some of this stuff in front of Taylar. There was one particularly dark moment in the book for Pat. Something physical happened between Jani and Bobbie while she was pregnant. We don't really get into details about it. Bobbie tried to block it out of her mind. She kind of felt like it was her fault a little. She and Jani never discussed it. She tried passing it off and laughing about it in front of her friends because she didn't know how to deal with it. Later on, she realized that Jani was abused in his life, which probably kinda led to what happened.
Jani and Bobbie
00:50:00 Taylar was born. Bobbie was young, in her early twenties. She wasn't capable of doing the right thing by her daughter, so Bobbie's mom helped raise Taylar in Louisiana from time to time while Bobbie dealt with her issues. Taylar understands that her mom didn't want to expose her to the bad stuff.
There was some good stuff too, though. Mark McGrath is a good guy, very funny. Another great guy is Chris Shinn, the lead singer of a band called Unified Theory. Off their self-titled album, Pat plays "California". After the Tommy Lee stuff, Bobbie and Taylar needed a place to stay. Chris, who was practically a stranger, brought them into his home and gave them a roof over their heads. He never did anything disrespectful to Bobbie. An all-around great human being.
So it's 2006. Bobbie gets a job as an office assistant at a place called Le Paws, which is a talent agency for dogs. She didn't care about social status, she didn't care about being embarrassed. Bobbie needed a job and she needed to get back up in her life. Now that I think about it, Le Paws would make a great setting for a sitcom. Note to self: call NBC about their new hit show, "Bark of the Town."
00:55:00 A friend of Pat's named Bump (seriously) came out to LA years ago to start a hair metal band. He met Bobbie a few times. Bump was so sad when he heard that Jani died because he was a hero to a lot of guys. Pat wanted to tell that to Bobbie. Everyone loved Jani. He was so kind and generous. Unfortunately, he did have his demons.
Bobbie has a boyfriend named Josh Bissell. He used to sing lead in a band called Joy Island. Bobbie has to go, so she plugs Ex-Wives of Rock and her book. She also plugs her website, Pat thanks Bobbie for coming, and compliments the book again. He closes it out with a song by Joy Island called "Wish You Were Here".
01:00:00 AAAAAAAAAAAAAND we're back. Pat recorded the first hour with Bobbie last week. Now it's July 9th, the day before this episode airs. Bobbie came back enthusiastically to talk further with Pat about the book. Pat felt uncomfortable with Taylar in the room. Now we can talk about the things we didn't get to last time without the awkwardness of Bobbie's daughter hovering over Pat's fatherly conscience.
Let's talk about crazy Dave Navarro. Pat once saw Dave at Starbucks wearing a long black housecoat and a black feather boa. He would also see him in a video store making out with Carmen Electra. You know, just regular guy stuff. Bobbie got invited to Dave's house once for an after party. He answered the door naked with a shotgun. Bobbie pretended not to be bothered by it. And by "it", I mean both the shotgun and Dave's penis. At this point, Dave was in the Red Hot Chili Peppers. He was fucking someone downstairs and taking polaroids. While Bobbie and other people waited for Dave to, well, finish, he put a video on: a video of himself masturbating. Nobody was bothered by this, apparently they had all seen it. And when Dave was done, he put a starfucker sticker on the girl's shoulder and shoved her out the front door. And they say chivalry is dead.
"Hello there. Would you like to watch some home movies? I shot them myself."
01:05:00 Pat plays "Rexall" by Dave Navarro, off his solo album Trust No One.
Bobbie's been to rehab a few times. The longest stint was a few months. The rehab patients were annoying. It was in the South, in Louisiana, so everyone was talking really slow. Bobbie was just cracked out in LA, so she was going super fast. It was an outpatient clinic. She stayed clean and sober for a while. Her demon of choice is sex. She's never really had a problem with alcohol. And she doesn't do drugs anymore.
So who else in Bobbie's life can we discuss? Ah yes, it's those two honest, upstanding, golden voiced Afro-German/Afro-French gentlemen Milli Vanilli. Off the album Girl You Know It's True, Pat plays "Blame It on the Rain". Such wonderful singing. I'm sure those guys practice every day to get those pipes working beautifully.
01:10:00 So yeah, Bobbie dated Rob Pilatus from Milli Vanilli. And boy, was he a piece of work. He was never in the studio, instead he was just out at the clubs dancing. Even when he sang in the car, he was awful. Both guys have very thick accents. Him and Fab also didn't really like each other. They were bonded by the secret of their shitty singing. Rob's hygiene was also not good. Europeans. He wasn't fresh, according to Bobbie. EUROPEANS!!!!! Rob also was doing drugs. Milli Vanilli didn't really have money. The labels just robbed them. Not everyone you see on TV is rich, folks.
Bobbie's show is Ex-Wives of Rock. There's Bobbie, Athena Kottak who is Tommy Lee's sister and was married to James Kottak from Scorpions, Susan "Blue" Dixon who was married to Jerry Dixon from Warrant and Sharise Neil who was married to Vince Neil. That poor, poor woman. Jerry Dixon has a unibrow. Pat once dissed Jerry Nixon at a Poison concert. Pat was getting drinks and Jerry was shoving his way through the line. Pat put Jerry in his place with a well-timed one liner. Good for you, Pat, you tell that successful, drowning-in-pussy rockstar who's boss.
01:15:00 The show is currently filming season 3. It'll be on in Canada first, then the US. The four of them are friends in real life, they've known each other for 20 years.
We get back to talking about record labels and royalties. Jani shared his royalties with every member of the band, even though he wrote all the songs by himself. Taylar hasn't seen a dime from those songs. There was a lot of bullshit with Jani's estate. Everyone's been screwed over. The music business is a very dark place. Nobody gives a shit about you, you have to sell your soul to get big. There's the ego, there's the trust issues. It's a constant bullshit battle. Taylar doesn't have the musical gene, by the way. She can't sing. And much like Phil Collins' last album with Genesis, she can't dance.
01:20:00 Bobbie once had an audition for Steven Spielberg. It went pretty terrible. She showed up drunk, late, and just spun in her chair. This was supposed to be for Tinker Bell in Hook, which Julia Roberts got. Spielberg was not happy with her. He didn't even read with her because she was so fucked up. That was the majority of life for Bobbie, getting fucked up and sabotaging stuff. Many times people called her in for an audition just to meet her and maybe date her. The president of Spelling Entertainment (not Aaron Spelling, some other guy) called her in to audition for 90210. Not only did he ask Bobbie out on a date, but he offered to move her into his house.
Bobbie was too screwed up to be in anything. But it's never too late to make it big. If that tree gnome Susan Boyle can make it big later in life, then Bobbie can absolutely do it too. How does Bobbie classify herself? Actress? Model? A reality star, she says. Oh, what a joy it would be to have that Kardashian reality money.
01:25:00 You have to want to be that famous. Bobbie wouldn't mind being more famous, but you have to be dedicated to being so. She's had it before, but the people she was with were miserable. The Kardashians seem to be famous at being famous. One porno, and that was all it took. Maybe one day I can have sex with Ray J on video and become a star.
Speaking of porn, Dave Navarro directs porn movies. Bobbie's run into him. He's still not normal. Good guy though, smart, witty, friendly. But boy oh boy is he a grade-A, top of the line, number one with a bullet freakazoid.
Bobbie did her own reading for the audiobook. She got emotional reading it aloud. She imitates every voice. The ghost writer is Caroline Ryder, who is amazing. She and Bobbie went through her life together like a conversation. Even though Bobbie didn't physically write the book, she still went over everything to make sure that it was what she wanted. Pat says that the writing matches Bobbie's personality perfectly.
01:30:00 A scary part of the book was when Bobbie was on tour with Warrant. She was pregnant with Taylar at the time and sleeping on a bunk on the tour bus. The bus swerved and Bobbie fell out of the bunk. She later noticed she was bleeding and they took her to the hospital. She almost lost Taylar and had to go home after that. 9 months of a regular pregnancy is psychotic enough, but can you imagine being on tour at the same time? Hormones + Traveling + Pressure on the Bladder = Bad Combination!
Bobbie's been on her fair share of tours. Warrant, Motley Crue. Is the debauchery different per band, or the same? Motley Crue debauchery is legendary. Bobbie calls them spoiled and entitled. And it seems like rockers always cheat. If that's the case, why get married? Why have a girlfriend? Why not just stay single and avoid the hassle? Bobbie has a theory: If you spend enough time constantly devoting your attention to someone who craves it constantly, you'll never have a life of your own. These rockers need attention from everyone, no matter who it is, man or woman. Everyone wants the devotion at home--the doting mother/wife--taking care of their shit. It's the constant need for the satisfaction of their egotistical personalities. Phew, is this Rock Solid or Psych 101?
01:35:00 Not every rocker is a cheat, mind you. BUT Bobbie will tell their girlfriend or wife if they cheat in front of her. That's how she met Sharise. Vince Neil hit on her. Pat bemoans Vince's live singing. He sucks live. The band is great, and he's great on the albums, but that's about it. Athena is single, Sharise is single, Susan is married, and Bobbie has a boyfriend. Bobbie's boyfriend Josh is here this time. He's 29-years-old, so he is 15 years younger than Bobbie. They met on a dating website. He thought her profile was fake at first, but then he met her. They've been dating for six months. The only women I meet on dating websites have razor stubble and an Adam's apple the size of a softball, so good job, Josh!
Finally, we get to the last big topic: Jani's death. This was close to three years ago. Bobbie had to call Taylar and tell her the news. Taylar couldn't process it. Jani had his ups and downs with alcohol.
01:40:00 Bobbie did anticipate the call. It's a lot harder when you have a kid with someone who dies. They were on friendly terms, too. He actually asked to move in with her the month before he died. He was separated and needed a place to go. Bobbie said no. She felt guilty about it for a while. His youngest daughter was 13 when he died. Rock in peace Jani Lane.
Pat starts to wrap things up, this time for real. Bobbie plugs her twitter, @bobbiejeanbrown. She plugs her website again. She sells rock clothing and jewelry. Only for women though, so sorry Pat. Pat plugs the book one more time. Also, Bobbie won the stand-up comedy charity thingy for St. Jude Children's Hospital. Hooray!
01:45:00 In honor of Jani, Pat ends the show with another song by Warrant. Off the album Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking Rich, it's "Sometimes She Cries".
Time Song Album Artist Who
00:05:00 My Heart Will Go On Let's Talk About Love Celine Dion N/A
00:15:00 I'm on to You Over the Edge Hurricane N/A
00:20:00 Once Bitten, Twice Shy …Twice Shy Great White N/A
00:25:00 (Can't Live Without Your) Love and Affection After the Rain Nelson N/A
00:30:00 Heaven Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking Rich Warrant N/A
00:35:00 Cherry Pie Cherry Pie Warrant N/A
00:50:00 California Unified Theory Unified Theory N/A
00:55:00 Wish You Were Here Single Joy Island N/A
01:05:00 Rexall Trust No One Dave Navarro N/A
01:05:00 Blame It on the Rain Girl You Know It's True Milli Vanilli N/A
01:45:00 Sometimes She Cries Warrant Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking Rich N/A


  1. Im B Dylan King Of Classic Rock. It was a blast being with Bobbie. Miss her much. Im also Bruce Lees Final Master soon to become movie star. Love for us to get together again and I allways let her get what she wants. I love to spoil her rotten. Signed Robert Campbell