Friday, June 13, 2014

Episode 152: Contraction Junction



Episode 152: Contraction Junction
Hitch a ride on the tune train as Pat and Christy play songs that have contractions in their titles.
From June 12, 2014

With your hosts:

Pat Francis

Christy Stratton

00:00:00 Pat welcomes us to the show. Christy is ready for today's show. She's the only one who wanted to do today's topic with Pat. Christy's son Johnny is now 4 and a half years old. His cuteness is starting to become a problem, though, because he's becoming way too cute for Christy to handle. Even with the temper tantrums, Johnny's cuteness wins out. Speaking of cute kids, Pat was in the car on the way to the airport with his family and took a nap on his daughter Rita's lap. Awww. Then, Rita took a nap on Pat's lap. Awwwwww. Then, when they were on the airplane, Pat and Rita held hands together. AWWWWWWWWWWWWW! THE CUTENESS IS TOO MUCH TO BEAR!
When Pat had a second kid, he realized that the capacity for loving offspring is infinite. I can't believe I just wrote that sentence. Johnny is now requesting songs to Christy that aren't kid songs. She lists "Flower" by Moby as an example and we listen to it.
00:05:00 Johnny loves his daddy, but he always gravitates to mommy. Pat thinks that little boys go to their moms, while little girls go to both parents. Playdates are pretty cool too, because the kids leave you alone.
This kid talk is nice and all, but we got to get this show on the road, people. We ain't got time for this happy horse shit, there's some music to be played. Pat introduces today's topic: Songs with contractions in the title! There are a LOT of contractions, as Pat found out.
Christy starts us off with our first pick. It's a thank you letter to Pat for letting her join the show as co-host. Off of Paul Stanley's 1978 self-titled album, the song is called "Wouldn't You Like to Know Me". Surprise, surprise; Pat also has that song on his list.
00:10:00 Pat just finished Paul Stanley's autobiography and he loved it. It's inspirational, honest, uplifting. It's the best individual Kiss book of the four members. Pat believes Paul's story over everyone else's. Paul tells a tale in his book how he was getting married a few years ago and didn't invite Gene Simmons to the wedding because he knew Gene's sour take on weddings would spoil the mood. Paul was also born without a right ear and was very self-conscious about it. He was afraid people would notice it and ostracize him. That's why he wore the purple headband in the 80s when he cut his hair short. (That, and because it was the 80s.) He also is deaf in that ear, which is probably why he lisps. Then his doctors constructed an ear for him. When Paul saw Phantom of the Opera, he got very emotional when they took the mask off the Phantom because that was what he was always afraid of: having his deformity exposed. Wow, what a story.
Paul was very embarrassed about his ear. His chest hair, on the other hand…
Pat plays us his first pick. From the album That'll Be the Day, it's Buddy Holly with "That'll Be the Day".
00:15:00 Gary Busey did an amazing job playing Buddy Holly in the biopic. Now he just yells at things. That's all he does. Yell at things. Even when he's acting, he yells at things. Buddy Holly only wrote a certain number of songs, but they were all hits. Kind of like me and these recaps. All killer, no filler, am I right or am I right? (as I snap my gum while pointing at various people).
Christy's next song brings us to 2012. It's Alabama Shakes with "I Ain't the Same", off the album Boys & Girls. Christy loves the lead singer. She says you can't just have a voice, you need a stage presence. Hey, stage presence can do wonders for covering up someone's mediocrity. David Lee Roth isn't that great live, but he's running around, telling stories, swinging a sword, doing karate kicks. The man's trying, dammit.
00:20:00 It's posthumous release time for Pat's next pick. Joey Ramone released an album called Ya Know? a few years back and it's really good. Pat plays "I Couldn't Sleep". Pat and Christy don't understand how someone can hate the Ramones. The Ramones have a large enough catalog for someone to find something they like.
Australia stand up, because Christy's next pick comes from the land down under. It's "I'll Make You Happy" by Divinyls, off their debut album Desperate. Christy loves Divinyls and that album. The lead singer Christina Amphlett was a lot grittier than other rock chicks, but they softened her up for the "I Touch Myself" music video, which was directed by Michael Bay. In that video, they replaced the band with Transformers. Optimus Prime on lead vocals, Bumblebee on guitar, Sideswipe on drums. Ironhide is shit on the bass, but he's the weapons specialist, so what can you do?
Pat's next pick is by The Byrds. Off their album Mr. Tambourine Man, the song is "I'll Feel a Whole Lot Better".
00:25:00 Christy used to be a bit overwhelmed by her next pick, The White Stripes. It all seemed a bit pretentious to her. Jack White is talented, but he's like a Tim Burton character: gangly, pale, and weird. Wait, does that make Meg White Helena Bonham Carter? Christy started to doubt herself. Was she not smart enough? Pat reassures that she is smart enough because she always beats him in Words with Friends. Pat really needs to step up his game. Anyway, Christy plays "There's No Home for You Here" off the album Elephant.
00:30:00 If you want 80s sleaze rock done right, look no further than Pat's next pick, Bad City. Off their only album Welcome to the Wasteland, Pat plays a bonus track called "Don't Stop".
Christy's next pick is Tori Amos. Off her album Scarlet's Walk, it's "Don't Make Me Come to Vegas". Pat is afraid of Tori Amos for some reason. Well, red hair is the mark of the devil. That's a proven fact. Christy loves her though. Tori Amos came to prominence during the heyday of VH1 Storytellers, Behind the Music, Live at the Ten Spot, Unplugged. What happened to that cool MTV stuff? It's those damn youngsters and their Teen Wolves and their Real Worlds.
00:35:00 Pat's next pick inspires him for a new show topic: songs with numbers replacing words in the title. Except Pat fumbles his words and calls the number 4 a letter. You see kids, this is why you need to take care of your elders. They get confused easily. Off the album Kissing to Be Clever, it's Culture Club with "I'll Tumble 4 Ya".
What does hipster punk Kyle think of that song? He doesn't mind it, but Boy George looks weird now. Wait, he looks weird NOW?!?! Pharrell stole his big hat gimmick. Kyle can't stand Pharrell. He can't wait for everyone to crawl out of his ass. Pharrell is 41 years old, by the way. Black certainly don't crack in this case.
Christy dives headfirst into her favorites, The Cars. Off their masterful debut self-titled album, it's "Don't Cha Stop". When does Kyle think that song was released? 1984? 1985? No no. That was 1978, my friend.
00:40:00 Christy and Pat heap nothing but praise towards The Cars. They were ahead of their time. They pioneered the 80s sounds. That first album was rock solid (nudge, nudge). So why aren't they in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Why are the E Street Band going in before them? And for that matter, what about Cheap Trick? Joan Jett? Dire Straits? Christy admits that Door to Door is a bad album, but one bad album shouldn't counteract five great ones. The Heartbeat City album gets special praise.
Since we're on this little Cars tangent, Pat decides to use them for his next pick. Off their album Panorama, the song is "Don't Tell Me No". Panorama was quirky, but good.
00:45:00 Yo, yo, yo, yo! Pop a rollie and check your 40s, it's time for Christy's next pick. We going to the streets for this one. I'm talking hardcore gangsta shit. That's right, off their album Raising Hell, it's Run-D.M.C. with "It's Tricky". Yeah, that's the rap that's safe for White people to listen to. Kyle had that song ruined for him by the movie Grown Ups. He worked in a movie theater and had to hear that song every time the film's credits played. Hey, it could be worse, Kyle. You could have actually watched Grown Ups.
The horror… the horror…
Pat's next pick is a bit odd. It's a cover of a song by New Radicals (the band that did "You Get What You Give") done by Hall & Oates feat. Todd Rundgren. Off the album Do It for Love, it's "Someday We'll Know".
00:50:00 Pat's been watching a lot of the TV show Live at Daryl's House. Daryl Hall has musicians come over to his house and they play songs, cook food, and eat and talk music. It's on the Palladia channel. Daryl Hall gets cranky sometimes. He knows how to stir things, chef. If he can write "Kiss on My List," he can stir.
A country girl will survive, as Christy plays her next pick, Loretta Lynn. Off her album Don't Come Home a Drinkin' (With Lovin' On Your Mind), it's the song "Don't Come Home a Drinkin' (With Lovin' On Your Mind)". Loretta and her husband Doolittle have been through a lot. If that song is true, good ol' Doo likes tossing a few back and climbing aboard the love train. Choo choo!
00:55:00 Beef: It's what for dinner. But if you're looking for something else, try Meat Loaf. Off his album Couldn't Have Said It Better, it's "Couldn't Have Said It Better. Christy… doesn't dislike it. Meat Loaf is not a great live singer now. The band is amazing, but Meat Loaf is disappointing. Kyle plays some Meat Loaf live on Youtube, but the quality is poor.
01:00:00 Christy can't insult Meat Loaf, she's just too nice a person. She lives a much healthier lifestyle than Pat. Pat plays a song from Meat Loaf's live album 3 Bats Live. Again, it's not good. He sounds winded, he can't keep up with the band. Poor Meat.
Christy cheers us up with her next pick. It's Mark Knopfler, with the song "You Can't Beat the House", off the solo album Get Lucky. Mark Knopfler is a very unique singer and guitar player. No one else sounds like him. Kinda like me and these recaps, right people? Come one, who's with me? (shrugs shoulders, opens arms).
Pat's next pick features a made up contraction. From the album Against the Wind, it's Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band with "You'll Accompn'y Me".
01:05:00 Bob Seger and Bruce Springsteen are not best friends, according to Pat. That rumor was always false. Seger also does not put on a good live show, while Bruce is the polar opposite. Seger can sing, but he has no backdrop, no stage banter, no movement. He's a minimalist painting in human form.
Christy discovered her next pick in a Bangkok dressing room. Okay. They're an American band called Hem. She never heard anyone else say their name, but they are in fact real. Christy plays "All That I'm Good For", off their album Rabbit Songs.
01:10:00 None of the members of Hem are Asian, although that doesn't stop Pat from talking like an Asian person. You know, saying his l's like r's, telling Christy "you get out of my store, now." Stuff like that. Pat, you're a lovable goofball and I don't care who knows it.
Straw hats and chopsticks aside, Pat's next pick some good old fashioned American music. Off her 2002 album The Calling, it's Mary Chapin Carpenter with "Why Shouldn't We".
Christy accidentally saw her next pick once. She went to the Kodak Theater to see Tyler Perry in a Madea play. This was before those shitty movies and those shitty tv shows. Apparently the play was very good. I'll take her word for it.
01:15:00 Anyway, Stevie Wonder came onstage at the end. Well, came onstage is a bit misleading. Was led onstage is more accurate. Christy plays "Don't You Worry 'bout a Thing" from his album Innervisions.
Pat's next pick is former Rock Solid guest Marshall Crenshaw. Off his self-titled debut album, it's "I'll Do Anything". When Marshall was on the show, he admitted that he got an offer to write some songs for the movie That Thing You Do! but he didn't try hard enough, so he got cut from the soundtrack.
01:20:00 For Christy's second to last pick, she chooses veteran musician Steve Winwood. Off his most recent solo album Nine Lives, the song is called "I'm Not Drowning". Steve Winwood gets a bad rap for being a soft rocker, but he actually has a lot of range. It was the same with Robert Palmer. Besides, every band went soft rock and pop at some point in their careers to get the hits. Heart did it. Yes did it. Cannibal Corpse did it. Those death metal guys gotta pay the bills someway, right?
"Okay guys, this next song is off our new album Genocidal Death Dealers of Hell. It's called 'Puppy Love.'"
Pat's second to last pick is by The Beatles. It's "You Wouldn't See Me", off of Rubber Soul.
It's Christy's last pick, and she goes with "Couldn't Stand the Weather" by Stevie Ray Vaughan, off the album Couldn't Stand the Weather. R.I.P. S.R.V.
01:25:00 Pat plugs the twitter pages, Pat plugs the Rock Solid Guide, Pat plugs the donation button. That button is there for a reason folks. We can't keep cashing checks and breaking necks if you don't send us a couple of nickels and dimes every now and then, am I right folks? Huh, who's with me? Come on, give it up for the ladies.
Pat's last pick is by Queen. Off their album Jazz, it's "Don't Stop Me Now".
We're all done here folks, so Kyle plays us out. Off the album Worlds Collide, it's Apocalyptica feat. Adam Gontier with the song "I Don't Care".
Time Song Album Artist Who
00:05:00 Wouldn't You Like to Know Me Paul Stanley Paul Stanley Christy
00:10:00 That'll Be the Day That'll Be the Day Buddy Holly Pat
00:15:00 I Ain't the Same Boys & Girls Alabama Shakes Christy
00:20:00 I Couldn't Sleep Ya Know? Joey Ramone Pat
00:20:00 I'll Make You Happy Desperate Divinyls Christy
00:20:00 I'll Feel a Whole Lot Better Mr. Tambourine Man The Byrds Pat
00:25:00 There's No Home for You Here Elephant The White Stripes Christy
00:30:00 Don't Stop Welcome to the Wasteland Bad City Pat
00:30:00 Don't Make Me Come to Vegas Scarlet's Walk Tori Amos Christy
00:35:00 I'll Tumble 4 Ya Kissing to Be Clever Culture Club Pat
00:35:00 Don't Cha Stop The Cars The Cars Christy
00:40:00 Don't Tell Me No Panorama The Cars Pat
00:45:00 It's Tricky Raising Hell Run-D.M.C. Christy
00:45:00 Someday We'll Know Do It for Love Hall & Oates feat. Todd Rundgren Pat
00:50:00 Don't Come Home a Drinkin' (With Lovin' On Your Mind) Don't Come Home a Drinkin' (With Lovin' On Your Mind) Loretta Lynn Christy
00:55:00 Couldn't Have Said It Better Couldn't Have Said It Better Meat Loaf Pat
01:00:00 You Can't Beat the House Get Lucky Mark Knopfler Christy
01:00:00 You'll Accompn'y Me Against the Wind Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band Pat
01:05:00 All That I'm Good For Rabbit Songs Hem Christy
01:10:00 Why Shouldn't We The Calling Mary Chapin Carpenter Pat
01:15:00 Don't You Worry 'bout a Thing Innervisions Stevie Wonder Christy
01:15:00 I'll Do Anything Marshall Crenshaw Marshall Crenshaw Pat
01:20:00 I'm Not Drowning Nine Lives Steve Winwood Christy
01:20:00 You Won't See Me Rubber Soul The Beatles Pat
01:20:00 Couldn't Stand the Weather Couldn't Stand the Weather Stevie Ray Vaughan Christy
01:25:00 Don't Stop Me Now Jazz Queen Pat
01:25:00 I Don't Care Worlds Collide Apocalyptica feat. Adam Gontier Kyle

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